Pastoral Encouragement

I went to my Pastor, and his gentle wisdom has calmed the storm within me. My heart has been freed to pray and I give thanks. Without wise counsel, without direction from the body how would I walk? God you have given me hope through an older brother in Christ. Thanks be to God!

I am still not sure of so very many steps. I still do not know how to minister most effectively. I am wanting to rise on eagle's wings. But am I willing to wait?

Secret Prayer is still far too lacking in my life. I need it greatly. I have neglected my soul in work. I have labored, but not wisely. So my body is tired, and frustrated, but my soul is mostly just hungry. Father, feed my inmost being. That I may have life, that I may have joy, that I may sing in victory.

Speak Lord for your servant hears.

Struggles within

Today I am recently back from Reynosa, Mexico.

How good it was to minister to the children of Mexico again. Hundreds of little children.

Once again my travels have challenged me to my core. I struggle with my position at church, with the wealth of our society, and the lack of joy in my life. Lord, move my heart. I cannot be deadened any longer. Father would you give me direction? I am wanting to give my life, day after day in work and service, but I feel that what I have to give and what I can give with great joy are not working here. Lord am I being impatient? Is my hope unrealistic? I am not wanting to be a quiter, or a man unwilling to suffer. Yet I can not make sense of this day. I cannot make sense of my life. All that I know about my call in you does not answer the great question before me. Can I Oh, Lord come away and be yours? I do not know how to be.

I am in need oh Lord of more of you. How can I proceed? Will you make a way possible? Will you open the door? Will you speak to my weeping heart?

A wounded healer? A leader of the people? What, Lord is next.