Struggles within

Today I am recently back from Reynosa, Mexico.

How good it was to minister to the children of Mexico again. Hundreds of little children.

Once again my travels have challenged me to my core. I struggle with my position at church, with the wealth of our society, and the lack of joy in my life. Lord, move my heart. I cannot be deadened any longer. Father would you give me direction? I am wanting to give my life, day after day in work and service, but I feel that what I have to give and what I can give with great joy are not working here. Lord am I being impatient? Is my hope unrealistic? I am not wanting to be a quiter, or a man unwilling to suffer. Yet I can not make sense of this day. I cannot make sense of my life. All that I know about my call in you does not answer the great question before me. Can I Oh, Lord come away and be yours? I do not know how to be.

I am in need oh Lord of more of you. How can I proceed? Will you make a way possible? Will you open the door? Will you speak to my weeping heart?

A wounded healer? A leader of the people? What, Lord is next.